On the 23rd of January 1934 the world welcomed one of its brightest stars.
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| Dad |
Born as a birthday present for his older sister Margaret, Ronald James was the newest addition to the Caudy family. He was the youngest of three Margaret and Joan being his older sisters. A son to James and Margaret Caudy. He grew up in a small mining village called Aberkenfig and lived in a house without a back door, Park Road no less. He mentioned that fact occasionally; no regularly, to his own children. A house without a back door and a toilet at the end of the garden. Park Road has gone now, making way for the Aberkenfig by pass. He played rugby and cricket for Tondu and to his greatest shame he was also captain of the local boys club soccer team. But we didn't speak soccer in the Caudy house. His own children were regularly reminded of the importance of Aberkenfig and it's contribuiton to globalisation. He would often want to know why his children wanted to go to Bridgend or Cardiff shopping; "You can get everything you want in Aberkenfig." he would say.
He was also an avid cyclist. When he was a young boy and was known to cycle to Essex to see family. He was keenly interested in maps and learned the hard way when on one of his cycling trips out east. In the days before Google, especially google maps, all you had was a OS (Ordinance Survey) map. On this particular day one route had the the word undulating written next to a road on the map but this was the straightest route. Dad decided undulating must mean flat since it was the straightest route and therefore it must be the quickest route, so he directed all the boys in the group along this undulating route. Needless to say his legs found out quite quickly that undulating does not mean flat. But they soldiered on believing over the next hill there must be a flat road soon!
Dad joined Bridgend Technical College and studied Engineering gaining an apprenticeship with the County. Then went to work for the steel works before going on to work for Blackwood Hodge and beginning his work as a colonial contributing to the development of the world as we know it. Living and working in Nigeria, Uganda, Kenya, Saudi Arabia, he also considered moving the family to Australia, but quickly realised they can't play rugby. He was conscripted PVT 23182129 and did a year in the Engineers and was very proud that Meirion is following in his footsteps. 2318 is Amelia's passcode for her ipad and Ellen's is 2129. Whilst in Nigeria he was caught up in the Biafran war between the Biafrans and the Nigerian government. Women and children were evacuated and Dad was left behind to customise bulldozers and turn them in to tanks - the original A team he used to call it. I'm not sure if he was Hannibal, Faceman or Murdoch he had plenty of BA Baracus around him though. He eventually got out of Nigeria and told a very scary story about their journey which culminated in reaching a border patrol where they presented their ID cards showing they were working for the Nigerian Cement Company. The Biafran's told them to change the name of the company or they would be shot. They tried to explain that it takes time to change a name and they do not have the power, but the soldiers were adamant. So they all got together and using blue ball point pen crossed out 'ian' and changed the name of the company to the Niger Cement company - the border guards were delighted and they let them through out of Biafra.
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| Blackwood Hodge Memories - 2004 |
Each of his children followed in his globe trotting footsteps. Christopher joined the merchant navy and saw the world. Jocelyn lived in Hong Kong for many years but the most dangerous mission was accepted by Elsbet marrying a boy from Neath and then emigrating to England. Dorian, as you may know, is now living in NZ and will qualify to play for the All Blacks next April. Judging by the way they go through outside halves he may need his kicking boots.
Practical Jokes
We all had great memories of Dad growing up. There was the 'dry coke' story and "transfer charge call to Caerphilly 866411", driving Terex R50s in Parc slip open cast aged 11, watching Dad perspire after one of Christopher's curries, Court Colman, Christmas time and collecting holly, getting stuck in the snow in a Maxi and a rally driver happening upon the car and rallying the car up the hill. Bonfires, letters he wrote when he worked in Saudi. Oh then there there were the practical jokes. He loved to play practical jokes. For 'Daddy Cool' as he was nicknamed by some - he was quite the practical joker.
The one about A Liberian, Hotelier and camp beds: One practical joke that sticks in my mind resulting in him laughing so hard he could not walk. He was crawling up and down the hall in Tregwyneth unable to stand. It revolved around a work associate, a trip to Libya, a new hotel business and the ability to impersonate an African voice. It revolved around a telephone call impersonating Mr. Oji Azimoyne from Liberia who had met the work colleague on business trip in Africa. The impersonator of Mr Azimoyne rang up and tried to make a reservation at the new Hotel that was being set up. He was to bring 2 wives and 13 children with him and whilst in Wales he would leave one wife and 7 children with the prospective hoteliers whilst he took a week tour to Ireland with the remaining wife and 6 children. The hotelier was eager to make a booking and prospective dates were agreed. However, the hotel was not equipped to take so many guests. The call was ended and 10 minutes later the phone rang. Dad answered, it was the hotelier in question not seeking to scream abuse at Dad but asking to borrow some put me up camp beds. Unfortunately, Mr Azimoyne never called back to confirm the arrangement and Dad never let on the call was a hoax!
The Letter: Another practical joke took place when Dad worked at Locks. A young mechanic would regularly turn up on a Monday morning bragging about his personal conquests over the weekend and the men were getting tired of this Monday morning routine. So in the early 90s just as colour printers were becoming affordable he conspired to concoct a letter from South Glamorgan Health Authority to send to this young gigolo. It went something like this:
Dear Mr. ... A patient at this clinic has given your name as a recent partner and as a result of tests conducted we urge you to make an appointment at your local geo-urinuary clinic for a check up. Please do not contact this health authority as you reside outside our jurisdiction. Signed PK Patella Ref: U2/R/ha/d030492.
Now in the 1990s there was a huge health scare that affected the way people would have intimate relations. So the letter was sent and the following Monday morning there is no sign of the young pretender. He eventually comes in about half an hour late, all quiet and distant. No-one asks what's up but come coffee break he eventually confides in one of the old guys about the letter. He had shown his mother and she had been on the phone all morning making appointments with the Clinic and the doctor. The young buck gets a call to come the office where his mother tells him she has made the appointment for him to see the nurse in the local clinic. He becomes far too quiet so the old fella tries to break the ice "Perhaps it's a hoax" he suggested, but our Romeo was having none of it. "No" he said "It's been signed by a Doctor", mmm "But the patella is a knee bone" said the old fella, "NO! You don't understand, I know who the person is her initials are in the reference, HA". The old fella paused and then pointed to the whole reference. U 2 R HAD and the date. The joke becomes clear, but our target and his mother did not take it well, threatening all sorts of legal ramifications. It didn't stop the letter finding it's way to Brynna rugby club's noticeboard for a while!
Dad also loved poetry. He would quote many lines from various poems:
'Breathes there a man with soul so dead who never to himself hath said "This is mine own, my native land?"' Walter Scott.
He loved reading to us as children verses by Edward Lear. A particular favourite was The Jumblies,
"They went to sea in a sieve they did in a sieve they went to sea". and then there was "The runaway train", and "Mr Nobody"
One poem that is fitting for a memory of Dad is IF by Rudyard Kipling, I used to earn 2p for remembering a verse. That was when 2p would buy a packet of crisps.
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
Yours is the earth and everything that's in it.
There is no greater Man than my Dad.
Songs that remind me of Dad:
Jennifer Rush "The power of Love" memories of court Colman Hotel.
"Myfanwy" - Dad's favourite Male voice choir recitation.
This is a homework Ellen did in Term 1. Her task was to produce a piece of descriptive writing. Who knew this was going to be so important. One edit - Grampa had green/hazel eyes.
Grampa's Tree (2012): Dad was the biggest "tease pot". He would pinch your plate at the dinner table and hide it out of sight. He would pretend he couldn't pronounce words so you would repeat and repeat the word for him. One such example is the story of the Pohutukawa Tree in NZ. This tree flowers once a year at Christmas time and is known as the New Zealand Christmas tree. It is a beautiful tree with bright red flowers that attract the bees. Mam and Dad sat underneath a big one at Omana Beach. Afterwards and for the remainder of his days he would tease Ellen, Amelia and Hannah on how to pronounce the name Pohutukawa. P-O-H-O-O-T-A ... gobble de gook or P-O-K-A-W-A-H-O-O-T-A tree and the girls would then correct him. The Pohutukawa tree is now commonly called Grampa's tree in the NZ Caudy house.
"Look Dad they're playing cricket with sticks not a proper box like us" (approx 1973) : When I was a kid Dad and I would play cricket outside the garage or on the common but we didn't have stumps so we would improvise with a cardboard box. One day on the way to camp for our annual holiday down the Gower we passed Briton Ferry's cricket ground. The car was at a standstill which wasn't unusual for the A48 at that time and I looked out. I must have been about 6 and made the comment. Dad never let me or my children forget it.
Court Colman for Christmas (approx1987): Imagine the scene. It's Christmas day and the boys, well Dad and I were due to pop over the pub for a drink before Christmas dinner. So we pop over at about 12pm for a quick drink. There bar was not that full, maybe 20 or so people at most. We ordered a drink and got chatting. About nothing in particular really, this and that, hopes and dreams. He would tell me stories about life overseas. Life in the army. People he knew. Work. Stuff in general. We ordered another drink and just one more, one last one, and one more, a short, one last pint and then checked the time. The bar shut at 2:30. We left at 4pm. On arriving home our dinners were still warm and Mum wasn't cross or angry. Aunty Gladys was there - giggling. We were in the dog house, after all it was Christmas!
Christmas 2012: Mam and Dad came to visit and it looking back now that time was so precious. Dad looked so happy. He enjoyed the Kauri museum, the Sky Tower, the beach and paddling in the Pacific and especially seeing the children.
Dad and the boys:
Dad was so proud of the Iolo and Iwan. Dad and I would skype or talk on the phone every Saturday morning. He would tell me about the boys achievements. About Iwan's exam results and the number of rosettes he won in school. Iolo and his work ethic. He was so proud. He would tell me about the times they spent together working in the garden. How they helped him with technology and setting up the computer or how to record using the DVD player. Technology was always compared to steam: "We never had this problem with steam power he would claim". How Iolo was chopping wood, how Iwan was helping in the garden and used to reflect on how perceptive the boys were. How they would remember things he'd told them; he'd taught them. Blackberry picking was an absolute favourite thing to do with them. He had nothing but praise for them.
One Maori sentiment for Dad and the family from Rob Holloway in school coach of the league team.
E aroha nui atu ana kia koe me tou whanau i tenei wa (My thoughts and deepest sympathy are with you and your family at this time)
Victorious Living - September 1st 2013 - Father's Day.
I have an AP on my phone. The Ap is called Word of the Day. This is the Word for September the 1st 2013. Whilst Dad was not overtly religious but these words resonate for Dad. He lived victoriously and shared himself between 4 children, 14 grandchildren and Mum so effortlessly with a majesty and grace that can only be imagined by some. The 3 stages that make me think of Dad are Perseverance, Purpose and Perspective, read on:
Here are three keys to victorious living:
- Perseverance. Dr G. Campbell Morgan tells of a man whose shop burned to the ground. The next morning he set up shop in the middle of the charred ruins and put up a sign that read, 'Everything lost except wife, children and hope - business as usual tomorrow morning.' So get back up again! 'Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life.'
- Purpose. Helen Keller wrote, 'Many persons have the wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.' Jesus said, '...the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve...' (Mark 10:45 NKJV) Don't pray for a generous heart, practice being generous and your heart will fall into line with your actions. As long as you are a sower, God will give you seed (2 Corinthians 9:10).
- Perspective. Your disappointment may turn out to be God's appointment. 'In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.' (Proverbs 16:9 NIV) Remember how an oyster makes a pearl? When a grain of sand gets into its shell, the oyster wraps it in layer after layer of beauty until a pearl is formed. The poet wrote: 'This tale has a moral, for isn't it grand, what an oyster can do with a morsel of sand? And what couldn't we do, if we'd only begin, with some of the things that get under our skin.' Have the right perspective. Try to see God at work in what you are going through today
SoulFood: Father's Day - Phil 2:5-11, Rev 19:11-16, Acts 3:1-16, Matt 1:18-21
September 16th and Dad was cremated in Bridgend Crematorium. A very emotional day. I watched in three weeks later when Iwan uploaded the video to Skype.
Later on some of Dad's ashes were buried in Pen-y-fai church and some Mum wants to scatter at Ogmore by Sea. I await for a date or time I hope I get sent photos - not holding out much hope of that. My mother's care i now costing £30 per week for a sitter. After all my mother has done for her neighbours. Whose decision has it been to distribute inheritance equitably. How about using some of the equity from the house to offset Mam's care.
Later on some of Dad's ashes were buried in Pen-y-fai church and some Mum wants to scatter at Ogmore by Sea. I await for a date or time I hope I get sent photos - not holding out much hope of that. My mother's care i now costing £30 per week for a sitter. After all my mother has done for her neighbours. Whose decision has it been to distribute inheritance equitably. How about using some of the equity from the house to offset Mam's care.
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